*small voice* hi. how are you? it’s me, Glitter. you remember me, huh? say you do, cos i’m glad you’re here. i’m here too. now. i wasn’t here cos there was big stuff and things going on. horrible, i-feel-sick-at-the-thought-of-having-to-do-this kind of things. you know when you have a date – no that that kind, silly! – no, like a date for something to happen. something whereby you know that it’s not going to be nice, you know that you have to be in a certain place at a certain time and you know that someone else is going to be there too? someone you’d gladly never see again in your life. someone from the past that made you so unhappy, someone you never want to never set eyes on again? someone you’d easily bundle into a car, dump in the middle of nowhere and leave to rot in hell? perhaps getting most satisfaction from throwing a mobile and laptop at them knowing that there isn’t coverage for hundreds of miles. and then upon wolf whistling up to the high ground, smile as the vultures come in to sight.
there wasn’t direct eye contact. i avoided it, concentrating on breathing instead. and then it was over. for now.
but it actually wasn’t as bad as i thought it’d be. in truth, it went better than i thought it could. i was soo glad when i got to leave the room, breathe without thinking again. and i smiled when My Other Dad, my moral support for the day, laughed at something that had been said. and then we laughed at something else that’d been said. and then we went to the pub, propped ourselves up on the high stools. he needed a coffee, i needed a bourbon. we paused in silence. and then after i took a huge swig of alcohol, i sighed, turned to My Other Dad and told him i was ok.
I was reading an interview with the actor Bill Nighy when he remarked on what a solitary type of character he was, that he likes spending time by himself but how whenever he has lunch on his own he can only eat if he has something to read. It got me thinking about doing stuff on my own, going for lunch, going for a walk, going to the cinema, going shopping. If there’s one out of that list that some people tend to find a bit weird it’s eating alone. The easiest way in the world to get a sympathy vote is to walk into a restaurant, sit for 10 minutes on your own and look as though you’d nearly pay a waiter to stop by and chat until your now-paying-for- lunch companion arrives. And if you’re a girl, surrounding tables will be thinking you’ve been stood up before you put down the menu.
I have a confession to make. I’ m pretty obsessed with TV Cookery Programmes. It’s a constant mystery to my dad and my sister how I can sit down first thing on a Saturday morning and watch hours of food being prepared via Saturday Kitchen and the Masterchef that follows. And I’d have to say, there’s very few episodes of Rick Stein that I haven’t seen, yet I don’t eat fish! [Rick Stein runs a seafood restaurant in Padstow] I was impressed with Jamie Oliver’s last TV series as he seems to have finally grown up a bit, but he’s still about an 8/10 on the Twat Scale. I didn’t Cookalong with Gordan just before Christmas, I should’ve though, I felt as though I did because I even delayed getting to HQ to watch it each Friday. The thing is, though, I’m not much of a cook. Oh, I have a few things I do and over the last few years have built up quite a nice set of stir frys and pastas that I do, but I wouldn’t claim to knowhow to cook. Maybe it’s just a girl thing and I like watching food being prepared, salivating in the oohs and aaahs of the lucky devils that get to taste it!
One of the most important things I do each year is buy something, just around about this time of the year as a particular treat, ‘To Glitter, From Glitter’ – that way, at least I get one birthday present that I really want! This time last year I was so sick though. Really sick! A week of lying on the couch, head spinning, not really knowing what time it was, maybe being able to acknowledge light and dark outside, wasn’t the best way to gear myself up for a spot of shopping. I did manage to drag myself down to the pub on the day [or night!] and was pleasantly surprised to find that a number of people had been told it was my birthday and the combination of mucho Disprin and cocktails was, well, actually, it was bloody great!
So, what’s been happening for the last few weeks? Well, let’s swiftly mention the mad rush up to Christmas and how frustrating and busy the build up to the day itself can be, then you’ve got the couple of days afterwards whereby another chocolate might send you over the edge and you could easily cross that line and murder a family member, the bombardment of sales in every shop, taking up every ad break on TV and still you don’t find anything you want to buy when out of sheer boredom you venture towards the mayhem of the High Street. Then there’s the going back to work thing, having realised you’ve put on a huge amount of weight – damn those bloody chocolates! – and by then, ‘Happy New Year’ is the last thing you want to hear.
This to me, is quite a milestone. Just 12 little weeks ago this little blog wondered if there was anyone out there. It seems there was. Today marks 10,000, TEN THOUSAND!! visits. You’ve learned a lot about what can happen when I step into my local, ‘HQ’, be it good, bad or downright disgraceful. And what I use to try and keep my ahem, youthful looks after a complete bender. You all know by now that in HQ I swill a lot of bourbon and gain many an insight while going outside for a lovely fag. You’ve got quite a good idea about the kind of music I like [Frosty The Snowman aside!] as well as plenty of other things I like and dislike. There have been tales of woe and tales worth smiling about again and again. You’ve also met the rest of Team Glitter, AKA Molly & Fizzy. Oh, and I’ve also thrown a few opinions in here as well, just for the hell of it!
Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy! Our Christmas Tree is being delivered today! That’ll mean it’s officially Christmas when it, and the 1million decorations of all types, shapes and sizes are put up in various rooms around the house. I’m excited – can you tell?
Now, I’m the type of girl that likes her nice things.. but I won’t spend all day looking for them. I kinda know what I want and the scientist in me always falls back on the fact that the quickest way to get from A to B is in a straight line. So, I don’t tend to faff around or ‘browse’ as some people might put it, when I’m on a mission. I found myself in the situation whereby I needed new foundation and powder, I couldn’t risk totally running out and scaring various people/ dogs/ young children by going without. I had to face up to the inevitable and make my way to the MAC store.
